Munch While You Hunch ....

I always wanted to do it whilst someone else feeds me grapes . lucky kangaroos ... all they do is eat sleep and mate.. and they even get treated whilst doing it !!

Blesseth arth thou who sucketh my........

Were you blessed this easter... ??

Sorry Kids... Easter is cancelled !!

Tsk.... Tsk....!! its a sad..sad day for all mankind.....

Dr. Stooge's Purity Test

Have you done it on a boat?
Have you done it with a goat?
Have you done it in a bed?
Have you done it with the dead?

Have you done it in the ass?
Have you done it, high on grass?
Have you done it in the car?
Have you simply gone too far?

Have you done it on the beach?
Have you done it with the teach?
Have you done it on your back?
Have you done it strapped to a rack?

Have you done it in a box?
Have you done it with a fox?
Have you done it in a tree?
Have you done it with more than me?

Have you done it in the rain?
Have you done it for the pain?
Have you done it 'tween the tits?
Have you done it wearing mitts?

Have you done it packed in rubber?
Have you done it undercover?
Have you done it on a perch?
Have you done it in a church?

Have you done it with a virgin?
Have you done it with a sturgeon?
Have you done it with ropes and chains?
Have you done it while insane?

Have you done it on the stage?
Have you done it underage?
Have you done it with your friends?
Have you done it in both ends?

Have you done it with your dog?
Have you done it on a log?
Have you done it with a champ?
Have you done it with a vamp?

Have you done it for all to see?
Have you ever had VD?
Have you done it on the couch?
Have you done it in your mouth?

Have you done it while on tape?
Have you done it out of shape?
Have you done it on live TV?
Have you done it whilst you pee?

Have you done it in the gym?
Have you done it on a whim?
Have you done it on a dare?
Do you really think we care?

Answer these and count your "no"s,
pray this number never grows;
Fifty questions we asked thee,
score times two is your Purity. :o)

George Bush Caught Offguard !!

Huh.. ??

This one never gets old... lol

Ha...!! Bow before me....your new leader !!!

Guess what douche bags ?? today i met a guy with the same birthdate as me . Now meeting someone who shares your BIRTHDAY is one thing .. and meeting someone who shares the same BIRTHDATE is another . It almost feels like meeting your long lost twin brother ...even though u know you were born of different parents . Firstly let me clarify that me and this guy have absolutely nothing in common . Now since we were born on the same date all the astrological predictions should be the same right ?? we should share the same likes , dislikes , music , girlfriends (lol..) , etc ..etc . But hell, ....this guy is the complete opposite of me . As you all know ..i'm an obnoxious ,sick , demented fuck....but this fella is mr.goody two shoes and talks so sweetly that anyone listening to him could get diabetes !! Its a crying shame that anyone sharing my birthdate could be such a wuss. The first time in my life i meet a person who's born on the same day..and he turns out to be a freaking gonad !!! aaaaarrrrrgh.... !!!

But then again ... maybe all the people born on my birthdate are friggin gonads !!..maybe i'm the black sheep of the astrological birth charts !! maybe i was meant to be the next hitler....(there's still scope for that ) ... although my hate campaign will be aimed at the exterminaton of all those who pee on the toliet seats ( i hate you bastards !! )...and those who love "bitter gourd" (this vegetable should have been extinct long ago....damm u stupid dinosaurs !!). anyways ...time to get back to the drawing board ....designing a new plan ....a new world orlder ... where people can roam free ( read: naked) ...and water will be replaced by beer !!! mmmmm... till that ever happens .... peace out !!

P.S: Recruitments are on !! lemme know if ur interested in joining my army !! all you need to be is a millionaire , with a will in my name . I'll handle the rest ... ;o)

Yes... you ...with the glasses ...

Are you missing out on something ???

feedster

No Need to Click Here - I'm just claiming my feed at Feedster

Hic.... Hic ...Hurray !!!

Ever gotten so drunk that you forgot if you were a guy or a girl ??? Ever smooched a lamp-post thinking that it was your girlfriend ?? Ever passed out naked with just a sock covering ur ...ahem ...privates ?? If you've done any of the above mentioned things ...then u can safely say that u and i have a lot in common . So i was really elated when i came across this game to test your drunken abilities on the net ..although, Its not as easy as it looks . All i could manage was a decent 50 before i crashed into the sidewalk. hope u guys do better !! Cheers...!!

WhO SaYs ChEsS Is FoR NeRdS ????

My Girlfriend Disagrees....

One For Da LaDiEz.....

Ever Wondered What we men are like ??? here are a few things you can relate to...

Men are like ........ Laxatives ...... They irritate the shit out of You.

Men are like ........ Bananas ...... The older they get, the less firm They are.

Men are like ........ Vacations ...... They never seem to be long enough.

Men are like ........ Weather ...... Nothing can be done to change them.

Men are like ........ Blenders ...... You need One, but you're not quite sure why.

Men are like ........ Chocolate Bars ...... Sweet, smooth, & theyUsually head right for your hips.

Men are like ........ Coffee ...... The best ones are rich, warm, & can keep you up all night long.

Men are like ........ Commercials ...... You can't believe a word they say.

Men are like ........ Department Stores ...... Their clothes are always 1/2 off.

Men are like ........ Government Bonds ...... They take soooooooo long To mature.

Men are like ........ Mascara ...... They usually run at the first sign Of emotion.

Men are like ........ Popcorn ...... They satisfy you, but only for a little while.

Men are like ........ Snowstorms ...... You never know when they're coming, how many inches you'll get or how long it will last.

Men are like ........ Lava Lamps ...... Fun to look at, but not very bright.

Men are like ........ Parking Spots ...... All the good ones are taken, the rest are handicapped.

Greetings Maggots.. !!

Hello...and a warm slimy welcome to all you maggots who crawled up here .
I'm back, recovering from a nearly devastating bout of dysentery... and i'm glad to say that atleast the walls of my loo are pretty colourful now .. although brown isn't my favorite colour .

During those turbulent times (boy ..were they turbulent !!) ... i just sat thinking that how great we as humans pride ourselves to be ...and how a single microscopic organism can bring us to our knees ( in my case it was my butt ) . Never ever underestimate the power of a stale tuna sandwich ... As innocent as it may look ....coz its just slyly waiting there .... only to be consumed in one of your gluttonous binges...and ready to take you for a trip to hell and back !!

Just to support my stand ..I did a bit of research on the net ...and there were some very interesting and shocking facts i came across , for example :

DID YOU KNOW ......

...that a glass of milk contains 15 types of harmful bacteria... and drinking a glass of milk everyday reduces your lifespan by 45 sec/day ?

...that a bar of chocolate contains atleast 4.5% of bugs and critter content...and regular consumption of chocolate can lead to massive cardiac arrests ?

...that having sex regularly is bad for your health and can lead to severe bone and tissue complications and even lead to partial paralysis ?

...that exercising regularly can have a detrimental effect on your health and can cause your bones to become brittle and crack ?

...that a cup of coffee a day can lead to permanent brain damage in the temporal lobe of the brain and lead into an irreversible coma ?

...that ice cream causes your tongue cells to freeze and de-freeze , causing damage to their cell-structure and is a main cause of 70% of all oral cancer cases?

....that every slice of cheese forms 0.1 mm wide clog inside your arteries and every 30 grams of mayo raises your cholesterol level by 23% ?

....that the author of this blog is a demented asshole and that you are a complete moron to have read through all the rubbish posted above and actually believe that everything he's written is true ?

Looks like i'm gonna go to hell for this one ...lol.....cya there !! ;o)

P.S : Insults , Expletives ,Profanity , And used condoms are welcome in the comments box.

20 Ways To Keep A Healthy Level Of Insanity

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with
sunglasses on and point a hairdryer at passing
cars. See if they slow down.

2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't
disguise your voice.

3. Every time someone asks you to do
something, ask if they want fries with that.

4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label
it "In."

5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks.
Once everyone has gottenover their caffeine
addictions, switch to espresso.

6. In the Memo field of all your checks, write
"For Sexual Favors."

7. Finish all your sentences with "In
accordance with The prophecy."

8. Don't use any punctuation.

9. As often as possible, skip rather than
walk.

10. Ask people what sex they are. Laugh
hysterically after they answer.

11. Specify that your drive-thru order is "to
go."

12. Go to Wal Mart and put a bag of M&M's on
lay away.

13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the
poems don't rhyme.

14. Put mosquito netting around your work area
and play tropical sounds all day.

15. Five days in advance, tell your friends
you can't attend their party because you're
not in the mood.

16. Have your co-workers address you by your
wrestling name, Rock Hard?

17. When the money comes out of the ATM,
scream "I won, I won!"

18. When leaving the Zoo, start running
towards the parking lot, yelling "Run for your
lives, they're loose!!"

19. Tell your children over dinner, "Due to
the economy, we are going to have to let one
of you go."

And The Final Way To Keep A Healthy Level Of
Insanity......

20. Read More shitty blogs like this one!!