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Saturday, February 19, 2005

Time For a Toast.....

I thought i'd be extra creative today and so i decided to take a slew of tests on what the internet has to offer me .. particularly pertaining to my demise and the aftermath. So for all you slimy creatures out there wishing that i'd get knocked down by an ambulance...so you could roll your eyes and in a fake scottish accent say "ohhh...how ironic !! " ...you'll be disappointed to know that i'll be sticking around for about another 50 years or so ... or atleast thats what the Death Clock predicts it as.

And You sick lil dipshits will be elated to know that i've be banished to the
"7th level of hell "according to Dantes Inferno Test .

Looks like afterlife is gonna be one big wild party .... WoooooooHoooooo !!!


Both the test results have been published below for your viewing pleasure ....





The sweet light no longer strikes against your eyes.Your shade has been banished to... the Seventh Level of Hell!

Seventh Level of Hell
Guarded by the Minotaur, who snarls in fury, and encircled within the river Phlegethon, filled with boiling blood, is the Seventh Level of Hell. The violent, the assasins, the tyrants, and the war-mongers lament their pitiless mischiefs in the river, while centaurs armed with bows and arrows shoot those who try to escape their punishment. The stench here is overpowering. This level is also home to the wood of the suicides- stunted and gnarled trees with twisting branches and poisoned fruit. At the time of final judgement, their bodies will hang from their branches. In those branches the Harpies, foul birdlike creatures with human faces, make their nests.
Beyond the wood is scorching sand where those who committed violence against God and nature are showered with flakes of fire that rain down against their naked bodies. Blasphemers and sodomites writhe in pain, their tongues more loosed to lamentation, and out of their eyes gushes forth their woe. Usurers, who followed neither nature nor art, also share company in the Seventh Level.

Here is how i matched up against all the levels:
LevelScore
Purgatory (Repenting Believers)Very Low
Level 1 - Limbo (Virtuous Non-Believers)Very Low
Level 2 (Lustful)Very High
Level 3 (Gluttonous)Extreme
Level 4 (Prodigal and Avaricious)Extreme
Level 5 (Wrathful and Gloomy)Extreme
Level 6 - The City of Dis (Heretics)High
Level 7 (Violent)Extreme
Level 8- the Malebolge (Fraudulent, Malicious, Panderers)Extreme
Level 9 - Cocytus (Treacherous)Extreme

P.S :
God gave men a Brain and a Penis , but only enough blood to use one of them at a time ...

2 comments:

Scooter McGavin said...

Mmm, I only been banished to the second level of hell. I have some work to do.

Scooter's Blog

Amy S. Petrik said...

hey things could be worse for ya. i rated on the 8th level.. and i answered honestly. holy cow. what a shocker. ha ha ha ha, inky