The ghost in me..

Sometimes.. i look into the mirror.. and all i see is the ghost in me.what have i become..? What have i turned my life into? Ever since i remember..all i wanted to do was stuff related to adventure and exploration.climbing mountains..exploring the paths less taken...going where no man has gone before (okay..i borrowed that last line from star trek), but today..even though i'm sitting here with this comfy desk job at a software company..and pretty happy..i still cant help thinking...Is this what i really want?do i just wanna go through my life being a slave of the system..? Believe me..its not the money..or the sense of self satisfaction..its just the yearning to unbelong.For instance..i've always wanted to escape..just take a ticket out of here and backpack across europe.. Or visit the temples of angkor vat..be mesmerized by the grandeur of the macchu picchu ruins..I wanna live with the monks in tibet.. Pitch a tent in the middle of the amazon rain forests..climb a mountain just so that i can scream out from the top of my lungs..even though i know no one's listening.I wanna do all this and much more..and yet..when it comes to making a decision..i get cold feet.I start thinking about the present..and how such plans could affect my future.Its what i've become..conditioned to this life..safe inside my security blanket. And happily chained to my office desk.I wish i could break free..i really wish i could..but the saneness (or is it?) in me prevails.these dreams take a backseat..with the hope that one day..i'll be determined enough to follow my instincts and do what i always wanted to do.And i just hope that day isn't too far away..