The Germans are coming....

The European Commission
has just announced an agreement whereby
English will be the Official Language of
the EU rather than German, which was the
other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's
government has conceded that English
spelling had some room for improvement
and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan
that would be know as "EuroEnglish".

In the first year, "s" will replace the
soft "c". Sertainly this will make the
sivil servants jump for joy.

The hard "C" will be dropped in favor of
the "k". This should klear up konfusion
and keyboards kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm
in the sekond year, when the troublesome
"ph" will be replased with the "f".

This will make words like "fotograf" 20%
shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the
new spelling kan be expekted to reach the
stage where more komplikated changes are
possible. Governments will enkourage the
removal of double letters, which have
always ben a deterent to akurate speling.
Also al wil agre that the horible mes of
the silent "e" sin the language is
disraseful and they should go away.

By the 4th year, peopl wil be reseptiv
to steps such as replasing "th" with "z"
and"w" with "v".

During the fifz year, ze unesesary "o"
kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"
and similar changes vud of kors be aplid
to ozer combinations of leters.

After the fifz yer, ve wil hav a reli
sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor
trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil
find it ezi tu understand ech ozer.

Ze Drem Vil Finali Kum Tru!!
And Zen Ve Vil Take Over Ze Vorld!!