The chronicles of red-dick...

Ok. Christmas was fun.Went for the midnight mass on 24th night which started exactly at 12..And on till 2:30...(of which half the time i was napping with my eye
s open..).
After mass got over..And after all the traditional greeting and kissing (on the cheeks of course)..Sum friends n i organised an impromptu roadside party.Was a w
ay lot of fun than all those traditional dances they usually have on christmas eve.Really didnt seem to mind the fact that it was an all guy party..Coz where i
stay its still pretty orthodox n girls ar'nt allowed to stay out late.So we were about 30 friends all stone drunk n wailing away till the wee hours of the morni
ng.On the 25th...i.e christmas afternoon, got a call from some old classmates n made a plan to go partying that night.So 4 of ur headed to ugh place called "clu
b cubanas" at baga beach.The entry was a cool "one grand" ! (coz we were all stags of course..).but anyways..The good part was drinks were on the house.And that
s not a very good sign of things to come.Ended up getting totally slooshed..N wasted.Returned home at 6:30 am n had two face some heat from mom.Got another part
y to go to tonight.Gwad..I guess i'm gonna get burned out by the end of this week..
Life is so hectic out here.. LoL ;o)

Its party time..!!

Yes yes ..!! I'm still alive !! I'm finally back in goa..And boy o boy...Is it rocking out here or what ! The only sad thing is that my computer at home stopped
working.Took it to the pc-clinic and those guys tell me that the hard disk has crashed..! My stupid sis must have downloaded a virus or something.But how can i
be mad at her..? It's christmas right? A time for forgiving and forgetting... Bah..! Crap..! I want my internet back..!! Oh well..I kinda found out a way to bl
og from my mobile phone..And thats what i'm doing right now.With all my sailor-friends back from the ship..we've been drinking almost every day.If my calculatio
ns are correct..I've been drinking an average of 3.75 bottles of beer everyday..And yeah..The beer belly does make me look like a pregnant man.Well..Things have
been pretty hectic though.Still gotta decorate the christmas tree n put up the lights.Planning on going for midnight mass n then partying all night long. Whooo
o..Hoooo..!
Merry Christmas Everyone..!!

The Greatest Question Of All Time...

Hmmm...!! Who do you think "came" First ??
The chicken or the egg ?? ;)

Exam fever....

Well...its that time of the year again !! yep,you guessed it ....EXAMS !! Dammit !! I hate exams . How does a 3 hour paper on a subject determine how much knowledge i have about it ?? Its a crappy educational system we have down here. But , Alas...I cant fight it alone , so gotta play along with it for now,Which means i'll be busy till the 18th of this month. And then i'm headed home for xmas. Ooooh boy... !! Goa is a lotta fun during xmas, coz a majority of the people in goa are christians (unlike the rest of India). Plus a few of my friend from australia are coming down too, so its gonna be great fun hanging out with them ...

Arrrrgh !! here I go .. day dreaming again !! Time to get back to the books !!!

FOCUS BOY...FOCUS...!!

Haloscan commenting and trackback have been added to this blog.

I've Never Felt This Lonely.....

Yes...I'm only human. I do feel lonely at times...In fact, I've been feeling this way for quite some time now. It could partly be because of the fact that my roomies have all gone on vacation and I'm all alone in the apartment , or because my girlfriends' out of station too, But the fact remains that I'm going through one of those so called "transition" phases where you feel that its ok to have friends and lovers...But you sometimes need a break from all that jazz.
Oh , how I long to sit by someone unknown and just talk to them , no strings attached..!! How I long to interact with people without that deja vu feeling..
I've been in search for such a person for a long time now , but have never really
gotten close to finding anyone who thinks the same. You might think ...Hey, I've got friends ..I can talk to them ?? But , that's not what it's about.
Friends are more of a social thing. Most of my friends are either people I've known because of my studies , or because of common friends.But the worst part about friends and girlfriends/boyfriends is that you know so much about them or they know so much about you ,that you tend to change your moods, conversations and judgments to suit them . Atleast that's the case with me .
I'm the type of person who loves "discovering" people through the art of conversation. There's nothing like sitting and chatting with an unknown person over a cup of coffee. The very fact that you don't know shit about him/her makes it all the more thrilling. But the trouble starts when you get to know a person too well. Things start getting boring and predictable. You don't feel like hanging around anymore. You long to get to know someone new. Somebody you can start discovering all over again. Someone you can relate to once again , without the fear of knowing what preconditioned response they're going to give you.. ..And then the whole vicious cycle starts all over again..

How I wish I could stop it there !! How I really do wish I could ...

Hic...Hic...Hurray ..!!

Nothing like 5 bottles of chilled beer on a hot sunny day !!

""Ladies of the evening
Drinking booze and mingling
Mashing to the music, I can do anything
Freaky dicky star speckles and pink butterflies
And life is nice, so nice.
I walk into a club and Ive found paradise
Im seeing stars, I cant believe my eyes

Oh my starry eyed surprise.....""

He Aint No Tooth-Fairy ...

Well , I finally decided that its time I did something about my aching tooth before it gets all festered and rotten and starts to stink !! (I'm sorry....Did I gross you out ??)


So anyways...I went dentist hunting today.I visited three of the really good ones and found that the serpentine queues outside their clinics weren't bcoz of autographs !! So impatient ol' me decided to try a little lesser known dentist. Actually this dude was recommended to me by a (soon to be dead) friend of mine. So I step into his clinic and , Whoa...Its empty..!! I get called in by the doc, And guess what , this guy actually looks like Gandalf the wizard, from the lord of the rings trilogy... (minus the staff , of course...)



And before i could say abracadabra , there I was in the dentists chair, wondering what made me get into this mess. It's not that I didn't trust him or anything , it was his equipment...

I mean , this guys equipment looked like a blast from the past. I'm so used to the pristine white leather-coated , hi-tech chairs the other dentists have ,...and this one looked like it was used to fry some heads at the state prison.




I was getting a very negative vibe about the place .It Looked like a classic scene from a Frankenstien movie.The only things missing were the lightning in the sky, and the leather straps to bind me to the chair , which I suspected were stored in a creepy looking black safe in the corner of the room.

And don't you just hate it when the dentists try to start up a conversation with you when you have your mouth wide open ?? How the hell are you supposed to reply back? Stupid irritating quacks !! Still , I was relieved when he told me that he wouldn't be doing anything today ,and said I'll have to get the tooth extracted, and gave me an appointment for tomorrow afternoon .

I'm still in two minds whether to go or not...
For all I know , he'll probably knock it out with a hammer ...



Why do I always have to get all the freaks ??

Operation Gas-em-all ....

Goodness Gracious me !! First it's spiders from my ass ...and today i chipped a bit of my tooth too. Damm...!! Somebody must really hate me up there . I was just chewing on some bubble gum and something went CRUNCH... !! Looked into the gum and saw a peice of my molar snugly nested in there.At this rate ...i'm gonna be looking like this pretty soon ...



Anyways ..so since i figured out that i'm gonna turn into a toothless crooked old bum pretty soon, i thought of celebrating the fact by eating out at a sleazy kebab joint (mostly rumored to be the "bermuda triangle" for stray dogs, they just disappear when they're around the place )...



Well..the kebabs were pretty awesome. I must have finished like six of em.Was bloated to the core , but managed to ride home safely. But the trouble started as soon as i arrived home.My tummy started growling like a wild lioness in heat. After several trips to the loo, and a glass of rehydrating salts ,i'm feeling much better now, and It's safe to say that the loo has been quarantined, and my oh-so-helpful roomies have put "BIOHAZARD" stickers all over it.



Grrrr... !! Those Cretins.. !! I'm gonna get back at them real bad someday.
But to think of it , I probably would have been in great demand during world war II . They sure could have used me in the concentration camps to gas out prisoners.
Silent ...but lethal !! Or instead they could have used my farts to gas out hiroshima . Whoa... !! Get a load of this ...Countries would be building stockpiles of my Stinkers !! How awesome is that ?? To know that the power to make or break a nation vests purely in your hands ....errr....Bowels !! Sure is a comforting thought , aint it.... ??

Sigh.....!!! I'm just born in the wrong era ....

My spidey senses are tingling ...

WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO DO IF YOU FIND A SPIDER UP YOUR ASS??

Believe me or not!! I was cleaning up with sum toilet paper after going to the loo and ...and look who i found...



Now this might not be the exact image ...but yeah, it was almost like it. I don’t know if it was on the paper before i used it.. or it was in my pants..
but YEEEEEOOOOOW !!...finding a spider in my ass gave me the creeps !!
What if I’m turning into a spider spawner or something ?? Have the spider-aliens from arachnidopolis chosen me as their host to breed and infect the world ??
Am i turning into an eight-legged freak ???

Spiderman, Spiderman
shitting spiders down the can
shits em out, any size
these hairy fellas aint so nice
look out here comes the Spiderman...



AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRGH ... !!!!

Gotta get myself examined !!

Die.... Muthafugger..... Die......!!!

Eeeeeeeeeyyaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...!!!

KaBoooooom.... !!!

I know I'm a bit late to comment about the recent blasts in New Delhi ...But I've been having these thoughts in my mind , and I just had to vomit them out to ya. The very fact that these people must have never even imagined that it would be their last day on the face of the earth makes it even more gruesome. Okay ...You're walking down the road, doing some window-shopping.... And then BAMMMMM!! ...Your innards are all over the place!! Sick, Sick, Sick!! Don't these terrorists have a life?? Don't they have families?? How can someone just be so casual about killing others, just in order to make a point?? Psychopaths...!! Raving Lunatics !! But then I guess that's the way this world is supposed to be. We dont live in an utopian society, and the shock value of such gruesome and tragic events makes us realize how lucky we are to be watching the news, instead of being in it. Life goes on, with a silent prayer for those deceased, and hope that there isn't a bomb somewhere with your name written on it.

Happy Halloween.....

Trick or Treat ??? You decide......

The Germans are coming....

The European Commission
has just announced an agreement whereby
English will be the Official Language of
the EU rather than German, which was the
other possibility.

As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's
government has conceded that English
spelling had some room for improvement
and has accepted a 5-year phase-in plan
that would be know as "EuroEnglish".

In the first year, "s" will replace the
soft "c". Sertainly this will make the
sivil servants jump for joy.

The hard "C" will be dropped in favor of
the "k". This should klear up konfusion
and keyboards kan have one less letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm
in the sekond year, when the troublesome
"ph" will be replased with the "f".

This will make words like "fotograf" 20%
shorter.

In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the
new spelling kan be expekted to reach the
stage where more komplikated changes are
possible. Governments will enkourage the
removal of double letters, which have
always ben a deterent to akurate speling.
Also al wil agre that the horible mes of
the silent "e" sin the language is
disraseful and they should go away.

By the 4th year, peopl wil be reseptiv
to steps such as replasing "th" with "z"
and"w" with "v".

During the fifz year, ze unesesary "o"
kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou"
and similar changes vud of kors be aplid
to ozer combinations of leters.

After the fifz yer, ve wil hav a reli
sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor
trubls or difikultis and evrivun vil
find it ezi tu understand ech ozer.

Ze Drem Vil Finali Kum Tru!!
And Zen Ve Vil Take Over Ze Vorld!!

Sleeping in church....

This is a really funny joke i read on one of the humor websites..


A man approached the minister at his church….”Reverend,” he said, “We have a problem. My wife keeps falling asleep during your sermons. It’s very embarrassing, not to mention disrespectful. What can I do?”

“I’ve noticed this and have an idea if you’re up to the task,” said the minister. “Take this hat pin with you. I can see when Mrs. Jones is sleeping, and will motion to you. When I motion, you give her a good Poke in the leg with the hat pin.

He agreed to the plan. In church the following Sunday, Mrs. Jones dozed off. Noticing this, the preacher put his plan to work. “And who made the ultimate sacrifice for you?” he said nodding to Mr. Jones.

“Jesus!” Mrs. Jones cried out as her husband jabbed her in the leg with the sharp hat pin.

“Yes! You are correct, Mrs. Jones!” came the minister’s quick reply.

Mrs. Jones then turned and glared angrily at her husband. Mrs. Jones again nodded off. The minister noticed. “Who is your redeemer?” he asked the congregation, motioning toward Mr. Jones.

“My God!” howled Mrs. Jones as she was stuck again with the pin.

“Right again!” Bellowed the minister, a slight grin on his face.

Mrs. Jones again gave her husband a real hard threatening glare. Before long, though, she again nodded off. This time however, the minister did not notice. As he picked up the tempo of his sermon, he made a few hand gestures that Mr. Jones mistook as signals to sharply poke his wife with the hat pin again.

The minister asked, “And what did Eve say to Adam after she bore him his 99th son?”

Mrs. Jones jumped up and shouted, “You stick that thing in me one more time and I’ll break it in half and shove it up your ass!”

“Amen!” replied all the women in the congregation.

Guidance...

~* Who's your daddy... ?? *~

Ambiguity ??

1. I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, “Where’s the self-help section?” She said if she told me it would defeat the purpose.

2. What if there were no hypothetical questions?

3. If someone with multiple personalities threatens to kill himself, is it considered a hostage situation?

4. Is there another word for synonym?

5. What do you do when you see an endangered animal eating an endangered plant?

6. If a parsley farmer is sued, can they garnish his wages?

7. Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?

8. If a turtle doesn’t have a shell, is he homeless or naked?

9. Can vegetarians eat animal crackers?

10. If the police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?

11. How do they get deer to cross the road only at those yellow road signs?

12. One nice thing about egotists: they don’t talk about other people.

13. How is it possible to have a civil war?

14. If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?

15. Can an atheist get insurance against acts of God?

Ummm, Guys....

Yeah..!! And even that thing she does with the forceps...

My third grade report....

I'm destined for great things... !!

Chicken soup for my soul...

A holy man was having a conversation with the Lord one day and said, “Lord, I would like to know what Heaven and Hell are like. “The Lord led the holy man to two doors.

He opened one of the doors and the holy man looked in. In the middle of the room was a large round table. In the middle of the table was a large pot of stew which smelled delicious and made the holy man’s mouth water.

The people sitting around the table were thin and sickly. They appeared to be famished. They were holding spoons with very long handles and each found it possible to reach into the pot of stew and take a spoonful, but because the handle was longer than their arms, they could not get the spoons back into their mouths. The holy man shuddered at the sight of their misery and suffering.

The Lord said, “You have seen Hell.”

They went to the next room and opened the door. It was exactly the same as the first one. There was the large round table with the large pot of stew which made the holy man’s mouth water. The people were equipped with the same long-handled spoons, but here the people were well nourished and plump, laughing and talking. The holy man said, “I don’t understand.”

It is simple” said the Lord, “it requires but one skill. You see, they have learned to feed each other. While the greedy think only of themselves.

Slogans For Womens Tees...

1. So many men, so few who can afford me.
2. God made us sisters; Prozac made us friends.
3. If they don't have chocolate in heaven, I ain't going.
4. At my age, I've seen it all, done it all, heard it all...I just
can't remember it all.
5. My Mother is a travel agent for guilt trips.
6. Princess, having had sufficient experience with princes, seeks
frog.
7. Coffee, chocolate, men . . . Some things are just better rich.
8. Don't treat me any differently than you would the Queen.
9. If you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen.
10. Dinner Is ready when the smoke alarm goes off.
11. It's hard to be nostalgic when you can't remember anything.
12. I'm out of estrogen-and I have a gun.
13. Guys have feelings too. But like...who cares?
14. Next mood swing: 6 minutes.
15. I hate everybody...and you're next.
16. And your point is...?
17. I used to be schizophrenic, but we're OK now.
18. Warning: I have an attitude and I know how to use it.
19. Of course I don't look busy...I did it right the first time.
20. Do NOT start with me. You will NOT win.
21. You have the right to remain silent, so please SHUT UP.
22. All stressed out and no one to choke.
23. I'm one of those bad things that happen to good people.
24. How can I miss you if you won't go away?
25. Sorry if I looked interested. I'm not.
26. If we are what we eat, I'm fast, cheap and easy.
27. Don't upset me! I'm running out of places to hide the bodies.

Who says smoking causes impotency ??

The Da Blinksy Code...

Mona Lisa on Crack !!

Truly Inspiring ....

Today I had gone out to dine with a friend 0f mine whom i hadnt met for a long time. He's the type of guy who has a different outlook about life. While we were having dinner at a restaurant , he told me this little story which really set me thinking ....

There were two Buddhist monks who had to cross a river . Now there was a young girl who had to cross the river too , but was scared that the river might be too deep for her to manage. As in Buddhism , it was forbidden for the Buddhist monks to even touch a female . So the first monk just ignored the girl and waddled across the river. Now the second monk who was much kinder offered to carry the girl on his shoulders and safely crossed the river with her . Upon seeing this the first monk got enraged , but dint say anything to the second monk. After walking for about an hour the first monk finally let out his anger and said ...."You know it is forbidden in our religion to have any contact with the opposite sex , yet you carried that woman across your shoulders....?? "

Upon hearing this the second monk just smiled , and said " I had only carried and left her on the bank of the river , but it is you who is still carrying her in your mind.... "

Is This Why Kids Hate Me ??

Naked Fridays.....

Ten Reasons To Go To Work Naked

10. No one ever steals your chair.

9. Gives "bad hair day" a whole new meaning.

8. Diverts attention from the fact that you also came to work drunk.

7. People stop stealing your pens after they've seen where you keep them.

6. You want to see if it's like the dream.

5. To stop those creepy programmer guys from looking down your blouse.

4. "I'd love to chip in... but I left my wallet in my pants."

3. Inventive way to finally meet that 'special' person in Human Resources.

2. Can take advantage of your computer monitor radiation to work on your
tan.

And...the Number One reason to go to work naked :

Your boss will never say, "I wanna see your ass in here by 8:00!"
ever again.

Please can I get a...

Breaking News...

Hai-Ku-d Not Understand...

Haiku poems dont make much sense to me ...except for leaving me more confused than i was before ...

weird people ..these japanese are...

Here are a few gems,
must you read them,
without a brain...

# I want to sleep
Swat the flies
Softly, please.

# After killing
a spider, how lonely I feel
in the cold of night!

# A lightning flash:
between the forest trees
I have seen water.

# In all this cool
is the moon also sleeping?
There, in the pool?

# Night, and the moon!
My neighbor, playing on his flute -
out of tune!

# I kill an ant
and realize my three children
have been watching.

# Right at my feet -
and when did you get here,
snail?

# A whale!
Down it goes, and more and more
up goes its tail

and my personal favourite...

# A sudden shower falls -
and naked I am riding
on a naked horse!

HUH... ??? WTF ??

Baby's Day Out...

Funny Surnames....

Guess what ppl...?? I just met this guy in class today ...and his surname was "BOOB". Lol..i had a hard time controlling my cheeky grins when he introduced himself to me . I've heard of surnames like "bush" i.e george bush ,But this one really takes the cake. Imagine your state if someone comes up to you and introduces himself as "hello...i'm krishnan boob". And for the rest of the class ..all i could think of was boobs. Almost got thrown out bcoz of that .LoL..,but it really made my day ...

Ladies Beware....

A.T.M Woes...

Is'nt it so irritating when ur standing next to the A.T.M ..and all the guys before you get their cash...and when its your turn to withdraw,..the network goes down !! aaaaarrgh... !!! Today was like the umpteenth time this has happened to me . Why me lord ..?? Why me ?? I pay my dues , maintain a good bank balance , and even answer the silly questionnaires they send me . I must have been an evil moneylender in my previous life...and this is just god's way of getting even with me ...


while i'm at it... Here's a random observation...

How a man withdraws cash from an ATM.

1) Park the car

2) Go to the ATM

3) Insert card

4) Enter PIN

5) Take money

6) Drive away

-------------------------

How a woman withdraws cash from an ATM

1) Park the car

2) Check makeup

3) Turn off engine

4) Check makeup

5) Go to the ATM

6) Hunt for the ATM card in the purse.

7) Insert card

8) Hit Cancel

9) Hunt in purse for chit with PIN written on it.

10) Insert card

11) Enter PIN

12) Take cash

13) Go to car

14) Check makeup

15) Start car

16) Stop car

17) Run back to the ATM

18) Take the ATM card

19) Back to car

20) Check makeup

21) Start car

22) Check makeup

23) Drive for 1/2 mile

24) Release handbrake

25) Drive on.
-----------------------

Thought for The day....

Virginity is like a bubble.... one prick and its gone !!

My Door Sign....

Bargains Galore...

Now heres' a good deal if i ever saw one !!

Colors make me drool...

This one is for all you spazoids out there who think they're too smart !!

Look at the chart below and say the COLOR of the word,
not the word itself.



Why is it so difficult? Because the right half of your brain
is trying to say the color, while the left side of your brain
is trying to say the word. Understand..?? Ermmm...never mind,
Get back to your LEGO kit..

Is this what they call Catnip ??

Beautiful....

One of the most beautiful pictures i've ever seen . Just a bunch of rocks you say ?? Tilt your nut-case to the left and look closely...

SaN JoAo....

The festival of "san joao" or "st.john" is one of the many festivals celebrated in goa , but it differs from most in the way it is celebrated. The festival traces its origins to the baptism of Jesus by St.John the baptist in the holy waters, and has been celebrated every year since the introduction of Christianity in goa .

It is to goa what Halloween is to the rest of the world...although the themes are way different from each other.Kids wear a halo made of vines and carry with them the end of a coconut palm , which kind of looks like a lopsided funnel. Anyways ..the whole purpose is that the kids go from house to house singing songs and pounding
the stick onto the ground so that it makes a loud thud. After the song and dance routine is over the kids expect some goodies or a reward in return , much like the trick or treating at halloween.

While the kids are busy , the older guys have their share of the fun . They get drunk and jump into wells. Yes...that was not a mistake. Well-jumping is a common sight during san joao. I have no idea what the significance is..some say its to commemorate the baptism of Jesus, and since the wells are so full of water after the monsoon showers, it provides the drunk dudes a chance of displaying their diving skills. Its fun if you try it when you are normal , but a drunk guys + deep wells aint a good combination , and this leads to atleast one death due to drowning every year. But still , the casualties do not deter the youth from engaging in such dare-devilry , and the well-jumping continues to grow more popular with each passing year.I didn’t jump in any wells this year…but was sure as hell knocked out by a dozen beers plus 4 tequila shots !!

ViVa SaN JoAo... !!!

Kermit on my plate...

Guess what guys ...



I ATE A FROG TODAY !!

Okay..!! Now before u ppl turn away with disgust and think i'm a sick freak , let me tell you that frogs are a delicacy in GOA. And i'm not talking about those tiny froggies , not toads either..the frogs which are eaten here are these huge fellas almost the size of a musk rat. I guess they hibernate for most of the year ..and they only come out during the monsoons , and have a very irritating mating call that sounds like an air-horn. The method to catch them is unique too. They can only be caught at night coz they are very quiet during the day. When darkness falls , they start with the mating calls and are usually found next to water bodies or the feilds. When u approach the source of the cacophony , you have to flash the torch into the frogs direction , they get momentarily blinded and then you get to catch them .

Poaching these frogs is a punishable offence in Goa, special night patrols are sent out by the police to keep a check on the poaching .But in spite of this , frogs continue to be hunted and it is almost like a forbidden dish here which commands a high price in the illegal market.I had the opportunity of tasting frog meat today..and i must say ... these fellas taste good , almost like chicken , in fact maybe better ... ;o)

Tag Time....

Yeah....after successfully evading the TAGGERS for so long , i was finally tagged by Melody
Okay..here goes...

Total number of books I own - dunno...?? its gotta be a huge number i guess. maybe about 150. LoL

The last book I bought - "How to grow your grass and smoke it too" by Dr.I.Luhv.Chillums... ;) LoL

Last book I read - "Digital Fortress" by Dan Brown. The reason why i like his novels is that he explains every thing associated with the mystery and gives insights into ever object encountered.

Five Books that mean a lot to me…
(01) The "Tell Me Why" series. - As a curious little brat ..these were the books that quenched my thirst for knowledge.
(02) Black Beauty - This was one of the first novels i read... it really touched me.
Life as seen through the eyes of a horse . The feelings of joy , pain , loss and seperation are all blended into the novel to make it one of the best written books of all time.
(03) Chariots of the Gods -by Erich Von Daniken & A Brief History of Time - by Stephen Hawking .. Even though i'm not an atheist , i really love reading about alternative explanations as to how the universe was formed and the origins of mankind.
(04) The Book of Famous Lives - Galley Press. Dont know why reading about the lives of some famous , long-time-dead blokes enlightens me, but this is one great book for all you history buffs out there . The book details the lives of famous personalities such as winston churchill , aristotle , alexander the great , michelangelo , etc etc...
(05) The Art of War by Sun Tzu . This book was written by an ancient chinese general . If you want to know more about the complexities of war , stratergies , ploys ,spying , and ways to defeat an enemy ten times ur size ...i suggest you give it a read .

And now to pass it on ,to..

Rohit

&

Lisa

If Only This Car Could Talk...

Revenge Of The Sith...

First the senate...
now the vatican too ...!!
Where are you Luke.... ??

Yaadda ...Yaadda ...Yaadda...

Its been a long time since i've written anything ..well thats basically coz i'm at home in goa at the moment ... enjoying my holidays !! The party never stops here and i've been having losta fun since the day i got here. Most of my friends are "seamen" ..LoL...i know that sounds funny...,they spend like six months at sea at a stretch , so when these blokes come down they just like to play , drink and party their asses off. We play football all evening and then sometimes hang out at the nearest pub and down some chilled brew.

Its started to rain recently... Aaaaah ... its the onset of the monsoons and goa couldnt be more beautiful. Thats the reason the other day this snake made it into the house... and before i knew it my mom had already whacked the shit outta it .

poor snakie... if only i had reached earlier ...i'd probably have been able to relocate it someplace. its all a matter of fate i guess... one minute you're slithering away thinking of the great time you've had with that hottie snake who lives in the hole by the lake.. and the next minute you're on the receiving end of fat bamboo stick. Sigh...!! ...life is so unfair at times !!

Multipurpose Party Tag

Presenting ...The all useful party tag !!
Never leave home without one !!

Star Wars Sucks ....

Okay okay ...I know I have incurred the wrath of star wars fans everywhere...But its not the entire series I'm talking about . In fact ...I loved the 3 star wars movies which were made back then...But the newest three (i.e the prequels ) are nothing more than a two and a half hour display of fireworks !! I'm sorry...I haven't been able to blog as often as before . I had my semester end exams going on ..And they just got over yesterday , so I decided that going for the "worldwide release" premier show of the latest installment of star wars would be a good idea. But it all went downhill from there onwards.. I ended up missing the first ten minutes of the movie, but I doubt it was anything more than someone getting shot down or some lightsaber being stuffed up somebody's ass.George Lucas was someone I used to look up to as a director , but I guess age is really catching up with him . I mean , come on George ... I don't go to a much anticipated star wars movie just to be put thru a two and a half hour ordeal which in the end leaves a bitter taste in my stomach. I'm not a 10 year old kid who gets fascinated by men fighting it out with blue and red lightsabers ..., I need a good story to satisfy me , and an equally well written dialogue too. But sadly , it has none of those. There is hardly any "meaningful" dialogue in the entire move , other than the constant "yes sir" or "may the force be with you " ... And just when u think things seemed to get interesting , the camera just zooms around into some intergalactic freeway !!! aaaaarrrgh !! Now that's what I call poor editing. Considering the amount of times the lightsabers were flashing throughout the movie , I ended up with a severe headache by the time it was over . I wonder why such movies don't carry an epilepsy warning . LOL. Anyways ... What a waste of a good day....Hope you've had a better one !!

Threesomes Are Fun And Natural....

It always pays to be on the top of things !! ;o)

Mumbo Jumbo...

Ever wonder about those people who say they are giving more than 100%?
We have all been to those meetings where someone wants over 100%.
How about achieving 103%?
*
Here's a little math that might prove helpful.

If: A B C D E F G H I J K L M N O P Q R S T U V W X Y Z is represented as:
1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 17 18 19 20 21 22 23 24 25 26.

Then:

H A R D W O R K
8 1 18 4 23 15 18 11 = 98%

And,

K N O W L E D G E
11 14 15 23 12 5* 4 7* 5 = 96%

But,

A T T I T U D E
1 20 20 9 20 21 4 5 = 100%

And,

B U L L S H I T
2 21 12 12 19 8 9 20 = 103%

So, it stands to reason that hard work and knowledge will get you close,
attitude will get you there, but bullshit will put you over the top.

And look how far ass kissing will take you.

A S S K I S S I N G
1 19 19 11 9 19 19 9 14 7 = 118%

Never thought about it like that before, huh?

Dr.Zeuss's Editorial....

He's all over the news these days ... and i'm sick of hearing all the propoganda against him , coz i think he should be left alone . Most people out there dont realize his significance . No , i'm not talking about the moonwalk...its the purpose he was sent back here for !! MJ is actually a sophisticated dance monkey sent back in time by the ape people a.k.a the planet of the apes inhabitants. He was sent back in time as a reminder to us all of the damage that continous botox treatments , plastic surgeries and fake noses are going cause to our genes, and the freaks our descendants are gonna look like !! If you dont believe me ... take a look :



The resemblance is uncanny !! ...And this is no coincidence . A truth known to an elite few , i decided to share this secret with you all ,coz i think MJ's days in this era are numbered , and he has fixed the time machine and is ready to go back to his time.Those kids on his ranch were actually woking on fixing the broken time machine, but once the info leaked out ...they had to cover it up with child molestation charges !! So before it is too late ..i urge you to pay heed to what MJ had come to tell us. Do you really want ur kids to end up looking like him ?? There is still hope people...ditch all those botox shots , dump those silicon boobies , and make this world a better place, ...for you, and for me, and the entire human race , there are people dying ... if you care enough for the living .... .... .... ... ...................

The little voices in my head...

It's just the way i'm feeling right now ...

I'm Tripping on Russian Water

I just realized that i havnt written anything here for a long time . Actually it took me around a bottle of vodka and some natural orange juice ( no preservatives added ) to realize that.The best part about getting drunk is that you dont give a fuck !! yeah...that feeling when the alcohol cruises thru your veins ...warming you up faster that pamela anderson's playboy centerfold would.Its estatic ...its erratic ..and its so fucking cool . i've gotten drunk like a zillion times before ..so its not like i'm some juvenile getting drunk for the first time . Heck no ...!! Its a scary thought ..but i'm beginning to feel that alcohol brings out the best in me ... i'm more confident , my inhibitions are lowered , and the self-conciousness and fear vanish . its like a whole new "me" .. a "me" i would like to be 365 days a year . The careless carefree "me" .. without a care in the world . i know its just temporary ..and i know it'll be a nasty hangover tomorrow morning .. but still ..its worth it. A few dizzy headaches and nausea is a worthy price for a vacation into a wonderland where i am the king. Anyways ...Gotta crash now... my eyes are flickering faster than the speed at which your turd gets flushed down the loo.Guess i'll just pass out listening to some heavy goa trance music.Under normal circumstances ppl dont understand what trance is all about ... but when ur in the "elevated" state of mind.. the music just comes alive !! Sorry for all the cheesy remarks and the ultra long post.. but seriously ..you can forgive a loveable drunk guy ....cant you ?? ;)

My thoughts exactly....

Calling all retards....

I recently read somewhere that one out of every ten people who read blogs are retarded! Now considering that my blog gets around 500-600 hits a day (yeah..whatever!! ), I decided to put out something for all those peabrained dumbfucks who visit my blog just coz they can salivate at the sight of the colourful pictures. If you think that Sharon Stone is one hell of a big rock....this one's for you ... ENJOY !!

Happy birthday to meeeeeeee ....!!

Heya ppl. It's my birthday today...and i've recieved only 3 anthrax laced birthday cards this year !! :o( ..wot a pity !! but still , Like every year , this time too ther'z a huge mob of chicks gathered outside my crib jus waiting to get inside... i wonder why ?!

Convergence.....

It had to happen some day .....


The new NOKIA 6969

Can you figure it out... ??

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Ouch... !!

This pic had me reaching out n clutching my 'nads . That must've really hurt !! Spanish omlette anyone .. ??

The next pope, Yoda must be....

Since the pope's condition is critical, and nobody’s expecting a miraculous recovery this time, I guess its time the Vatican pulled up their socks and started hunting for the new pope. Here's my description of the person who I think will most likely be next pope...

YODA ...!!




All of you remember yoda from the star wars trilogy . This cute lil furry old guy has mass appeal and has touched the hearts of many. A very strong contender for the papal seat ...he is 20 points ahead of hopeful Danny Devito.

Here's why our boy scores over the others :

1. He's almost 900 years old... an essential criteria.

2. Respected senior member of the jedi council.

3. Has had an assassination attempt.

4. Meditates (read: sleeps) more than he talks.

5. And when he does talk ...nobody can understand what he's mumbling.

6. The force is strong within him...

Munch While You Hunch ....

I always wanted to do it whilst someone else feeds me grapes . lucky kangaroos ... all they do is eat sleep and mate.. and they even get treated whilst doing it !!

Blesseth arth thou who sucketh my........

Were you blessed this easter... ??

Sorry Kids... Easter is cancelled !!

Tsk.... Tsk....!! its a sad..sad day for all mankind.....

Dr. Stooge's Purity Test

Have you done it on a boat?
Have you done it with a goat?
Have you done it in a bed?
Have you done it with the dead?

Have you done it in the ass?
Have you done it, high on grass?
Have you done it in the car?
Have you simply gone too far?

Have you done it on the beach?
Have you done it with the teach?
Have you done it on your back?
Have you done it strapped to a rack?

Have you done it in a box?
Have you done it with a fox?
Have you done it in a tree?
Have you done it with more than me?

Have you done it in the rain?
Have you done it for the pain?
Have you done it 'tween the tits?
Have you done it wearing mitts?

Have you done it packed in rubber?
Have you done it undercover?
Have you done it on a perch?
Have you done it in a church?

Have you done it with a virgin?
Have you done it with a sturgeon?
Have you done it with ropes and chains?
Have you done it while insane?

Have you done it on the stage?
Have you done it underage?
Have you done it with your friends?
Have you done it in both ends?

Have you done it with your dog?
Have you done it on a log?
Have you done it with a champ?
Have you done it with a vamp?

Have you done it for all to see?
Have you ever had VD?
Have you done it on the couch?
Have you done it in your mouth?

Have you done it while on tape?
Have you done it out of shape?
Have you done it on live TV?
Have you done it whilst you pee?

Have you done it in the gym?
Have you done it on a whim?
Have you done it on a dare?
Do you really think we care?

Answer these and count your "no"s,
pray this number never grows;
Fifty questions we asked thee,
score times two is your Purity. :o)

George Bush Caught Offguard !!